By The TEAM
Presented by the National Theatre of Scotland
USA, UK (Scotland)
UTR 2009 - The Public
EXCERPT FROM THE ARCHITECTING SCRIPT
JOSH: Charles was not excited over the prospect of marrying her, for she stirred in him none of the emotions of wild romance that his beloved books had assured him were proper for a lover. He had always yearned to be loved by some beautiful, dashing creature full of fire and mischief.
And here was Scarlett O’Hara teasing him about breaking her heart!
MALE SCARLETT: (Played here by man, in a man’s voice) Why you gonna break my heart?
JOSH: He tried to think of something to say and couldn’t, and silently he blessed her because she kept up a steady chatter which relieved him of any necessity for conversation. It was too good to be true.
“Now, you wait right here till I get back,
MALE SCARLETT: Now, you wait right here till I get back,
JOSH: For I want to eat barbecue with you.
MALE SCARLETT: For I wanna eat some barbecue with you.
JOSH: And don’t you go off philandering with those other girls,
MALE SCARLETT: Don’t you go off philandering with those other guys,
JOSH: because I’m mighty jealous.
MALE SCARLETT: because I’m mighty jealous.
JOSH: Came the incredible words from the red lips with a dimple on each side; and briskly black lashes swept demurely over green eyes. “I won’t,” he finally managed to breathe, never dreaming that she was thinking he looked like a calf waiting for the butcher… [JO enters store]
JO: Hi Josh
JOSH: Hey Jo.
JO: Brought you another box of yellow ribbons
JOSH: Good. We's close to out.
JO: Could I get ten on two?
JOSH: Sure thing.
JO: Josh I just came by to let you know but we’re probably heading out soon.
JOSH: What do you mean?
JO: Going home. Arkansas’ nice but it just isn’t home.
JOSH Thought they was settin’ you up pretty good.
JO: Me too Josh. But I think I’ve been waiting for a check that isn’t coming. You know?
JO: So we’re gonna head back. Figure things out ourselves.
JOSH: You be careful.
JO: You’re sweet.
JOSH: How them boys doin?
JO: They’re good. Got a letter yesterday. Said it’s 125 degrees over there.
JO: Sure is cold in here, though.
JOSH: Yeah. Boss like’s the AC on full blast for folks. Right at 62. (Silence.)
JO: Whatchya reading? [Moment as JOSH hides book, seeing he is uncomfortable]
Well okay. You take care Josh. Keep handing out those ribbons. Seeya Josh.
(Ding, JO exits. JOSH resumes reading briefly. CAROLINE enters looking exhausted.)
CAROLINE: You got anything low fat?
CAROLINE: Anything else?
JOSH: Wiper fluid…. We got some Sunchips.
CAROLINE: (A listless beat of thought.) Those low-fat?
JOSH: I don’t know, man, I'm not a label reader. Read the thing. (She gives him an ornery look).
CAROLINE: Oh my god. What are you reading? (JOSH dives for book and knocks it off towards CAROLINE, who picks it up) Oh my God! YOU’RE READING THIS? NO OH MY GOD! THIS IS A SIGN! THIS IS A SIGN! WHERE’D YOU GET THIS? WHY ARE YOU READING THIS?
JOSH: We sell it man, I just grabbed it off the thing.
CAROLINE: This is the most remarkable coincidence I’ve ever heard of in my life!
I’m on my way to New Orleans, right now, to compete to become Miss Scarlett O’Hara.